When Friends Turn ColdI feel down today. The weather was hot earlier, it became moody soon after. I have to run out twice today and the first press conference was nothing spectacular.
And then, a close friend called and I frankly told her she was pushy. She had wanted me to follow her to a direct selling meeting. I was reminded of another close friend I had and I became defensive and evasive.
That close friend of mine was really a good friend of mine. We share many things together for many years. Even when she found the man she loves, our friendship was still very close. But it was after she joined an mlm firm with her boyfriend, that everything between us turned sour.
It was not easy. I told her that she was obssessed and she behaved like a Jehovah Witness. A fanatic and pushy. I began to avoid her and her calls. She did not try to patch things up either. She was happy with her boyfriend and happy with her group of direct selling friends.
This broken friendship is a regret. I missed her. I missed the times we had together. Time and time again, I brought the subject to God. At times, I told myself, Lord if only I have the same passion towards you like how she has towards her direct selling business.
Today, the situation was very similar. It was so familiar that I took on my evasive stance automatically. But I told this friend of mine straight away, I don't want to lose her as a friend. She understood.
I expressed my heartfelt sadness to another friend. She encouraged me to look at the situation another way. God gives everyone different ways of living. Different passion. There is no need to be too harsh on them. If God can love any kind of sinners, why must we avoid our own friends who are just really passionate about their new found businesses?
That is true. If I start telling my colleagues about Jesus and asking them to go church every day, the same thing might happen to me. But that is just because I know I have found something worthy enough to tell the whole world.
Maybe I was the one who let go of the friendship. I don't know. I enjoy being alone and keeping things to myself. Now that I have a close sister whom I talk to on the phone every now and then, I am afraid to lose her too. Maybe I should learn to let go and let loose. If I keep locking myself, I won't be able to learn the true joy of having friends. I guess I am just too afraid of being betrayed by friends again.
