The Journey
Give Praise
My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast
I will sing and give praise
I will praise You O Lord among the peoples,
I will sing to You among the nations
For Your mercy reaches unto the heavens
And Your truth unto the clouds
Be exalted O God above the heavens
Let Your glory be above all the earth
(Psalm 57:7, 9-11)
I's a fabulous friday today, after a tiring tuesday, a wonderful wednesday and a terrific thursday.
Tuesday was tiring because there was no electric at home and we went to my grandma's place to sleep. I couldnt sleep at all.
Wednesday was wonderful because my NST colleagues gave me a surprise by coming over to pick me up for lunch and I had a good talk with my current boss.
Thursday was terrific because a crisis happened in my company and my department was directly involved in causing and fixing it. Although I wasnt directly apart of it, I could feel the excitement of being in the midst of a challenging situation. That sort of feeling, which I would have almost everyday in the newsroom, was alive again and I like that.
Friday will be a fabulous day. I couldnt see what would happen of course but I know it will be fabulous because my God made the day. And I'm just so glad He is still watching over me and the peoples of the earth. And I'm just full of joy because He still loves us so much.
God, I dedicate my day to you. Bless my day, bless all loved ones. Amen.
Depression
It was a fun Sunday yesterday. Sis Shirley Tan, a pastoric counsellor, dropped by my church and taught us on how to help a friend in depression. Before the training started, she preached on "Waiting" upon the Lord. She's a single lady in her 50s and she's been shot with many many times about her marital status all these years. I chuckled when she told of her experiences. "Where have all the good Christian guys gone??" she said...hahaha...
Sometimes, it is easy to identify a depressed friend but sometimes it is not. Now that she had given us a checklist of depression symptoms, I realised I had some friends who had been through the severe stage of the illness. Not to mention, I had gone through that myself as well. Sleepless nights, a change of behaviour, sudden weight changes, negative thoughts about myself and the world, and most importantly, suicidal thoughts. I'd had some of that when I was in my uni days. Some of my friends and my mom and sis would know.
It is in this fast paced, racing to climb up the ladder world, that depression is catching on. Many young teens are getting depressed because of peer and parental pressure. A too high expectation and a sudden huge expectation may lead to that. A lot of things can be the causes. Loss of a loved one, a lost golden opportunity, a breakdown in career and even a too-fast success may lead to mild-->severe depression, Sis Shirley said.
And yet, depression is not a sin. It is an illness that may be caused by the sinful acts that we have done. For example, a wrong doing that caused a heavy guilt in our hearts will then lead to us being depressed. Where does God stand in all this?
Jesus as our High priest has been through many things and depression maybe one of them (well, maybe). Considering He knew His purpose on earth was to die on the cross...well..
But then again, Jesus as our God understands what we are going through and He has the perfect solution for us.
One, rest and wait.
In the gospels, when His disciples felt proud of themselves because they were able to drive out demons, Jesus led them to a place for them to rest. Too much success may take a toll on us humans and taking a break to rejuvenate our strength will help prevent depression.
Two, surrender.
Sis Shirley mentioned three things that may lead to depression; anger, grief and guilt. When the things are in the past, then it is time for us to let go. A loved one who had left the earth would not return, so why cling onto him or her? Have a time of mourning and then move on. If we are uncertain of whether that loved one had received Christ, then there would be nothing we could do now. Let go of that guilt and move on to save more people.
If one has wronged you, let go. You are sacrificing your own emotions and killing your body while the other party is happily leading his or her own life without giving a single thought about you in that depressing stage. Why the waste of time and effort? Live our lives to the fullest for ourselves and for God.
"Cast all your anxiety on Jesus because he cares for you" (1 Peter 5:7).
Easier said than done. But I believe we are able to do it with God's strength. Dear family and friends, God loves us too much to leave us in depression. Cling on to Him and He will set you free.
Sleeping on the sofaI've been reaching the office every day around 6.10am. I love the early morning shifts that start at 7.30am and end at 4.30pm. But this week, I'm doing the late shift..well..normal for most people. That's 9-6.
So, considering I couldnt possibly keep myself awake til 6 if I were to be in the office at 6 am, I tried out the "destress room" in my office. A room with Astro, an OSIM chair, board games and most importantly, two couches.
I went inside on Monday and slept. It wasn't exactly a slumber but enough for me to rest my eyes until 8 am. Then I'll wake up and do my devotion. So, today's Tuesday and my plan seems to be working.
I'm in my 3rd week in my new company. Still miss the news room though..but...I'm beginning to understand my job better and I'm learning to love it. On the surface, it does look like an admin role but then again, if I were to quicken my pace in completing my work, I will have more time in hand to do self-learning.
A friend of mine has just resigned from her job without a new job in hand. That took courage and strength only from the biggest Boss who is able to offer her the best job in the world. But, He hasn't doesnt so yet.
My friend took that big step of faith and I admire her for that. It's not easy but she did it anyway.
So we were there, 6 of us, at Sushi king updating each other about our lives and all. To me, God is planting new seeds in our hearts for the new year. Some, a new direction in life. Some, a turning point in career. But I do believe God is preparing each of us to do bigger things.
I've been told that by some pastors years ago. But I always shrug it off. I don't believe I am created to do BIG things. But...circumstances around me are changing and I'm beginning to feel like I need to helplessly rely on God all the time, which is a good sign.
So, Lord. My life is in Your hands. I don't know what I can do but I do know what You can do. Well, at least, things that I can imagine You can do.
Until then, thank You Lord for the sofa.
Forgive my ungratefulness
My first day of work and I felt completely discouraged that I wish to call my ex boss that I want to return to my previous company.
The night before, I had thoughts of regrets. I had to get up early to beat the jam and to get a "free" parking space. Supposed to wake up at 5.45pm.
I woke up at 7 instead.
I panicked when I woke up but then again..I thought of God and His humour (the night before I couldnt sleep and I kept on praying that everything would go well...) and I felt peace, unsurprisingly.
I got out of the house at 7.20am and reached the office at 8am. Not much jam, considered that many parents, off from work, would have gone to schools with their children much earlier.
No free parking and I had to park at the visitor's parking instead. That cost RM25.50.
There were around 6 new comers greeted by the HR lady and after 2 hours of processing security cards and signing some papers..we were ushered to our own depts.
My team lead met up with me and she showed me and introduced me around. It wasnt' exactly a warm welcome and my thoughts immediately flashed back to my first day in NST (with a black and white screen...such happy moments...)
Had lunch with my team lead, another senior and two colleagues from other teams and back to the office. My team lead was nice..explained everything to me in details and of course, she would have her own things to do..she is the team leader after all...and i was left alone. Did I say my two superiors were on leave until next week?
According to a friend of mine, under the same firm but based in Cyberjaya, they had an organised welcome as the graduate batch. They have buddies to show them around..proper documents and presentations..and that took a week...
Since I was the only graduate among the new comers, I felt like an abandoned child. Maybe the office here doesnt really know what to do with a graduate??? I don't know..I'm too tired to guess.
My former colleagues were so kind and caring that they took turns to sms me to ask of my day.
My innocent mind and breaking heart instantly told them how I felt and how I missed them. And I missed them very much.
It was like breaking up from someone I still love and yet, I knew I couldnt be with that someone anymore.
God, I need Your mercy for my ungratefulness. I'm sorry. But please, I need Your strength and Your joy and Your wisdom in this new environment.
Thank You Jesus. Amen
