Forgive my ungratefulness
My first day of work and I felt completely discouraged that I wish to call my ex boss that I want to return to my previous company.
The night before, I had thoughts of regrets. I had to get up early to beat the jam and to get a "free" parking space. Supposed to wake up at 5.45pm.
I woke up at 7 instead.
I panicked when I woke up but then again..I thought of God and His humour (the night before I couldnt sleep and I kept on praying that everything would go well...) and I felt peace, unsurprisingly.
I got out of the house at 7.20am and reached the office at 8am. Not much jam, considered that many parents, off from work, would have gone to schools with their children much earlier.
No free parking and I had to park at the visitor's parking instead. That cost RM25.50.
There were around 6 new comers greeted by the HR lady and after 2 hours of processing security cards and signing some papers..we were ushered to our own depts.
My team lead met up with me and she showed me and introduced me around. It wasnt' exactly a warm welcome and my thoughts immediately flashed back to my first day in NST (with a black and white screen...such happy moments...)
Had lunch with my team lead, another senior and two colleagues from other teams and back to the office. My team lead was nice..explained everything to me in details and of course, she would have her own things to do..she is the team leader after all...and i was left alone. Did I say my two superiors were on leave until next week?
According to a friend of mine, under the same firm but based in Cyberjaya, they had an organised welcome as the graduate batch. They have buddies to show them around..proper documents and presentations..and that took a week...
Since I was the only graduate among the new comers, I felt like an abandoned child. Maybe the office here doesnt really know what to do with a graduate??? I don't know..I'm too tired to guess.
My former colleagues were so kind and caring that they took turns to sms me to ask of my day.
My innocent mind and breaking heart instantly told them how I felt and how I missed them. And I missed them very much.
It was like breaking up from someone I still love and yet, I knew I couldnt be with that someone anymore.
God, I need Your mercy for my ungratefulness. I'm sorry. But please, I need Your strength and Your joy and Your wisdom in this new environment.
Thank You Jesus. Amen
