The Tears of Heaven
The rain was falling slowly on a Monday morning. If I were at work, I would be meeting Tan Sri Francis Yeoh at noon. But I just had to get some sort of eye infection that left me stranded behind bars (of my home).
The way the water was dripping from Heaven was as if, a woman was crying. A little bit of sobbing but not too much of a wail. The way a woman would grieve inside for her stillborn son. Too anguish to scream. That must be the way God would mourn as well.
The entire church was happy that a church member was due for delivery on Monday. A new baby would be born, a life thatdepicts a soul formed by God Himself. It was definitely a moment we had all been waiting for.
On Sunday, the mother felt no kicking from the baby. Or rather, in her words, "The baby was moving slowly". I wasnt in church that day due to my eyes' condition. So I heard the story from both my mom and my sis.
At the heart of the service, the mother left the church with her husband. Only a sudden panic would have urged her to make the decision to head straight to the hospital. She had to find out why her baby was behaving that way. She thought it was normal, after all, the baby would be out the next day. Surely God wouldn't let anything happen to the baby after nine whole months in the womb and another 24 hours before the baby would arrive.
The journey to Bangsar must be a long and hard one. When the very experienced doctor placed his hands on her stomach, that must be the most anxious minute of her life. When he uttered, "I don't feel the baby's heart beat anymore.", her heart must have stopped.
By then, the news have spreaded to the entire church via SMS. PRAY for her. PRAY for her baby. Let's have FAITH. GOD is still in control. And we all did. She had to endure another night in the hospital before they could take the baby out the next morning. Her operation was scheduled at 6.45 am. That entire long night, her husband slept beside her, holding onto her stomach to feel the slightest movement. A sudden kick might have ignited back the hope of the featous' survival. There was none.
That night, I knew, the entire church would have cried with her. All mothers would have understood, maybe not entirely but surely more than a little, how she felt. How a woman, who had been anticipating a healthy, normal baby just like any other mothers in the world would after nine months, would now need to think of a funeral service instead of a baby dedication service. But yet, in a more spiritual sense, surely she would have continued to pray. Surely she would have cried along with her husband that night, pleading God for mercy.
Labour pain came at around 5am. The baby was out through a normal vaginal delivery. The mother set her eyes for the first time on her son. Lifeless, his bulging stomach was swollen with fluid and his face, was deformed. What is God's purpose in this, she might have cried? We don't know.
The rain had not stopped in Cheras at 5.26pm on Monday. Ever since the sun came out, the rain seemed to have taken its glory. SMSes were still coming to my phone and to my mom's phone. My mom was busy preparing herself for the funeral. As a committee of the church, she has helped conducted many funeral services. But she didnt know what to do this time. It's a first for her to help prepare for a baby's funeral. But it's not the first in the church this year.
So, the time had been set for the service. A crematorium service will be held in Cheras at 2.30pm. Many will go. Many might not since it's in the middle of office hours. I won't be there as well as I was prohibited by the doctor to step out of the house. So, I'll pray for the mother, the father, their families and the baby, at my own home.
The entire church would mourn for her and her husband. It's their first child and God took him back. It seemed like a cruel trick God would play on a faithful couple. Nobody will know of God's purpose in this. But, one thing for sure, if Lazarus's death had Jesus weeping for him, God would surely weep for this baby. A God who gives life, now witness hundreds of people crying in pain at the funeral. His eyes would have been transfixed on the father and mother. His heart would have been burnt with grieve as well and yet, most of the people would still repeatedly shoot Him with "WHY DID YOU DO THIS?" without understanding how He must have felt.
I'm too young to know how the mother would feel at this moment. But I can share some of her pain. And I know, that the rain that is still falling today, would be the tears of Heaven, the only One would ever understand that pain.
